Hard Conversations

It’s been a hard couple of weeks for me
Bad news about my grandson, air conditioning problems, needed items that keep getting more and more expensive, and more! It is part of the “stuff” that makes up life—just not the fun part. On top of that, my mentee hasn’t responded to my contacts for a week and a half (was it something I said?—probably). This whole “speaking the truth in love” thing has definite drawbacks. It often does not make us the most popular person around. And I intentionally said it!

Speaking the Truth in Love
Now, in my defense, I had been praying about this particular discussion for weeks. I really didn’t want to “go there”, but God continued to lay it on my heart—and so I spoke.

It’s extremely difficult to gauge another person's response to what you have said to them. Our (my) minds begin to analyze it—did I mess up, did I say the wrong thing, is she hurt, is she mad, will she ever talk to me again, and on and on. We begin to doubt what we heard God say to us, and it’s tempting to berate ourselves or question our motivation. But in the end, when all is said and done, I still believe that I was supposed to speak that particular question to her. God in His goodness, allowed me to find out that I was not the only person to have spoken it to her, indeed not even the first person to speak it. God is at work in her life in this area, and part of being a mentor is helping the mentee “see” where God is already at work in them. It is not my work in her life, but His. I’m merely saying, “Hey, I think God’s working here.”

The Rich Young Ruler
One familiar biblical story of response is found in the encounter between Jesus and the rich young man (Mark 10: 17-22). The young man sought out Jesus to ask of him a spiritual question; this is much like a mentee seeking out a mentor to help with her questions. The book of Mark records that after a short exchange in which the young man affirms his serious commitment to following the commandments since he was a boy “Jesus looked at him and loved him.” And then Jesus drops the “bombshell”—“One thing you lack…”

I don’t think Jesus was trying to be difficult, mean, harsh or unloving, but His advice would be too hard for the young man to follow. The rich young man’s response was sadness, and he left Jesus. Jesus did not run after him softening the impact or lessening the advice (something we might be tempted to do when the advice is not easily received). He let the young man walk away; He accepted the response even though it was not the response for which He had hoped.

Seek God First
Although we should always seek God before we speak into another’s life, we should not back away from the difficult words just because it may illicit a less than hoped for response. The ultimate goal for the rich young man was “…come, follow me.” That should always be our personal goal, and our mentoring goal should be for the mentee to respond positively to Jesus’ “Come follow me” in their lives. However much we may want it to be good, the response is theirs and theirs alone to make. We should continue to pray for them, encourage them in their relationship with God and be faithful to speak the “truth in love”.

Written by Kim Collins

A New Beginning; A New Revelation

Our Story

It was just like in the wagon train movies of the 1800’s, the daughter cries sweet goodbyes to her family as her radiant new husband lifts her onto the wagon traveling out west to begin their lives together – leaving the old and pressing on to a new adventure!

That was sort of the beginning of my married life, only 5 days wed we scrambled onto a U-Haul jam packed with wedding gifts and 23 years worth of memories and a Siamese Cat named Austin; heading South -- from the wet lush green mountains of Oregon to the hot dry landscape of Texas. We embarked on the greatest adventure of our lives, together, with the Lord, the pair of us naively headed towards a new life.

My husband was paving his way in the world of men, eager to take on the responsibility of caring for a new wife. I, unknowingly at the time, was running from my careful life of rules and order in hopes of uncovering this woman within that I deeply desired to become.

Who is God to Me?
I grew up in a wonderful church that taught the Bible, but somewhere along the way I had taken all that head knowledge but hadn’t a clue how to relate to a very distant God. I pulled out all the rules and characteristics of God that fit my past and the way I was raised and created my own image of god. This god that I worshiped was restricted, rigid, expected perfection, was kind yet always down on me because I could never get it just exact. My god was a god of love since he died on the cross for my sins, but he was also remote and hard to get close to.

Are you getting my picture of God?

What is your image of God? What is your perception of what God thinks about you? The answer to those two questions may just be the most important questions in the entire universe. “What you think about God shapes your whole relationship with Him. In addition, what you believe God thinks about you determines how close you will grow towards him.” (Ingram, God As He Longs For You To See Him, page 20) Unknowing, my false image of God shaped so much of the woman I had become. I concluded that if I could never please God then why worship him? I had my “fire insurance” so why waste time trying to please a God who would never be satisfied with me.

But Then....

Praise God for “but then’s;” with our new life in Texas forming, a new and true image of God began to take shape. The Lord started to reveal Himself to me through prayer times, many many trials, Bible studies, friends, my husband, becoming a new mother, & great books that taught me about the very nature of God – truths only found in the Bible.

The past 5 years I have spent searching and discovering a magnificent God who is the embodiment of perfection, who loves me the same regardless of my actions, whose ways are not my ways and whose deepest desire is to mold me into the image of Christ.

The road has not been painless, most of my lessons were forged through great trials, but the rewards have been intimate and everlasting. The more I study the Word of God to discover the multifaceted God I serve, the more in awe I stand before Him and the more I fall in love with Him and await the day when I can finally see His face and bow before Him in reverence. I will never conclude my aspirations of knowing God completely, for each trial reveals new truths and experiences. My new longing is for other women to develop a Biblical image of God, because if we have an image of God that is true, our perspective on this life shifts from one of self to one of upward devotion.



So, along your 6-month journey as a M & M, I would like to encourage you to seek out this God you serve, challenge yourself to get into the Word of God and meditate on the life of Jesus, and the God of the Old Testament. Do not be discouraged by trials that will come your way, but be encouraged because it is through these trials that the Lord desires to reveal himself to you; one verse that I meditate on often is James 1:2-3, “Consider it all joy, my brethren when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.” You are being equipped with endurance and experiences that will help you along your Christian journey.

The Lord your God is with you,

He is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

He will quiet you with his love,

He will rejoice over you with singing.”

Zephaniah 3:17

From the Desk of: Melissa Williams

Time

We live in an extremely fast-paced and busy world; so fast that time has become a priceless possession for many.



As women, we face many things which vie for our time and energy: laundry, dishes, diapers, meals, jobs, children, husbands, school, and church and on and on and on. A bit overwhelming at times isn’t it? How do we survive another crazy day full of so much “stuff”? And how do we find time for our relationship with God; time to sink down deep roots that we might grow in our knowledge and love of Him?

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It is as easy as the Nike slogan, “Just Do It” ---and as hard

We may think that great productivity in our lives is preceded by frantic activity. One writer says that great productivity is preceded “…by our quiet un-frantic response to God’s presence…Life-style is revealed by the use of time: what is given place and space; what is included and what, therefore, is excluded.”

Tough decisions need to be made about the use of our time. If we want more time for the things that matter, we will have to give less time to or even give up things which do not matter. These are not choices which we like to make; after all, shouldn’t we be able to “do it all”? Our culture would have us believe so.

Great Christian writers throughout the ages have cautioned us about not giving enough time to the knowing of God. Productivity, fruitfulness—brought forth from our “un-frantic response” to His presence—requires being in and aware of His presence. Tozer says, “To think God’s thoughts requires much prayer.” He even goes so far as to say that one of the main causes of retarded spiritual growth is “…failure to give time to the cultivation of the knowledge of God…God can be known satisfactorily only as we devote time to Him.”

It is imperative that we know what should be given “place and space”—our lives depend upon making the right choices.

“My heart has heard you say, ‘Come and talk with me.’ And my heart responds, ‘Lord, I am coming.’ Psalms 27:8 (NLT)

Seven Essentials for Mentoring

Last week I shared a few excerpts from the book profile on Spiritual Mentoring: A Guide for Seeking and Giving Direction. This week I would like to share with you what Reese and Anderson identify as seven essentials in the ministry of spiritual mentoring. It is a bit long, but worth reading. Enjoy!

The incarnate Word.
Spiritual mentoring is relational. …mentoring is always relational, heart-to-heart, and life-to-life. Christ epitomized spiritual mentoring; through Him we learn what to teach and how to teach. Jesus’ life became His message as He revealed in practice what He spoke in words.

Grounded in the ordinary.
Spiritual mentoring is autobiographical. Wise people know how to draw things out of the heart of another…The thoughts, feelings, dreams, and experiences buried in a person’s heart generally carry a coded spiritual message. Mentors must mine these treasures, lift them to the surface, and help the mentoree see in them the pattern of God’s working…the astute mentor also knows how to illumine the mundane and ordinary times..because he understands that God is always at work. If one does not learn to look for God in the ordinary, he will miss so much.

Coming alongside.
Spirituality is partnership with the Holy Spirit…If we believe that our desire and hunger to know God and to grow in Christ is our response to His initiation, then the duty of the mentor is merely to assist another in learning to pay attention to the inner working of the Holy Spirit. A mentor is a spiritual optometrist whose task is to adjust the intensity of light through a series of lenses so that the mentoree has better vision.

The trajectory of spiritual formation.
Spiritual mentoring is purposive. Spiritual growth is a pilgrimage toward an intended destination rather than a meandering stroll around circumstances…A mentor not only helps the mentoree discern the spiritual implications of events and circumstances but also to observe that these are more sequential than random. God has set these things in motion; the key is to learn why. A mentor will help find the answer.

The essential art.
Spiritual mentoring requires listening. Once again we must understand that a mentor does not cause or create spiritual growth; at best he enhances it. A mentor, then, is one who comes alongside another in whose life God is already at work…A truly effective mentor knows how to listen to God, how to listen to (observe) his own life, and tutors others to do the same.

Not one-size-fits-all.
Spiritual mentoring requires adaptable discernment. Discernment is the ability to perceive the truth about a person or situation…Discernment knows the questions to ask that will point the inquirer toward God…For the most part, mentors cannot plot the same course over and over again; to do so is to rely on self rather than the Spirit.

Not only for specialists.
Spiritual mentoring belongs to the priesthood of all believers. …the invitation is given to all in the body of Christ. Still,…mentoring amounts to much more than telling someone else about lessons learned through experiences…In fact, knowing when to ‘get out of the way’ and let God speak directly to the heart of the mentoree is a crucial aspect of this ministry.

“A healthy mentoring relationship should help you to give voice to the song God has sung into your life…” During the course of mentoring the mentoree is enabled to see the activity of God in his life and to value that activity as a stimulus of spiritual formation. That being done, the mentoree ‘finds his voice’ and proclaims, acknowledges, and magnifies God through his uniqueness. In an ideal world, which the kingdom of God most certainly is, the mentoree then becomes the mentor.”